A crucial concept in terms of understanding oneself is the “reactive state of mind”. A reactive state of mind is a pattern of brain activity that has become engrained through repetition, much like grooves being worn into a surface through repeated motion. States of mind are “reactive” when they are triggered by, and organized around, intense negative emotions.

The mind has been called a “story telling machine” because it uses language to help us figure out how to interact with the world. Sometimes this works out well, for example when our mind tells us to “turn the cap right to tighten it.” However, when it comes to our relationships our minds can get into trouble.

A new brain study by a group of researchers in Japan has found additional support for active listening as a useful strategy when communicating with your partner.

Living intimately with another human being over a long period can be a challenge at times. The personal habits of the other person, when they deviate from your expectations or desires, can be frustrating or annoying.